You are my Lighthouse
by andthenIfound5dollars
Summary: A behind the scenes Klaine fic from "Goodbye". The continuation to my fic "Promise". You don't have to read "Promise" to understand. "Promise" ends right before Graduation, this picks up right after. sorry, I'm really bad at summaries
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer-I do not own Glee...never have, never will *sadface*

**You are my Lighthouse**

by-andthenIfound5dollars

warning-Spoilers and background scenes from "Goodbye"-warning

A/N: So yay!Here it is:) I wouldn't really call this a continuation of "Promise", because I believe this can stand on its own. This fic starts after the Graduation ceremony. I hope you like it!

* * *

"We regret to inform you…"

The words burned on Kurt's eyes. He felt like it was someone else saying "I didn't get in." Even more distant was hearing it come from his mouth a second time.

He was only vaguely aware of Finn's arm around his shoulder. He knew he needed to acknowledge his step-brother, be he felt as if his head was full of sand as he turned to look at Finn, and then suddenly Rachel turned around.

"_It'll be okay" _Kurt thought as he searched Rachel's face _"We will all figure this out together…we can do this all together." _

"I got in." was all she said, and Kurt felt like he was going to black out. It took every ounce of strength in his body to muster a small smile for Rachel as he felt his fingernails digging into the palm of his hand and heard the paper he was holding crinkle.

"_BLAINE!" _his brain screamed at him. _"You need to find Blaine!" _

Rachel looked like she wanted to say something, but Kurt didn't think he would be able to hear it. He mumbled something incoherently and walked toward the door. He heard his best friend say his name and again mustered everything in him to turn and give her a small smile and squeak out "congratulations".

Just the word felt like bile in his mouth. There was no way he would be able to do that again. He couldn't pull anything else up to pretend he was okay. He needed to find the one person he didn't have to pretend with.

As Kurt walked down the hallway, his vision began to blur slightly. Not much, just like the lockers were blurring together. Instinctively, he reached up to wipe his eyes, but there was no wetness on his fingers when he took his hand away.

Kurt rounded the corner and into a big crowd of people. His eyes searched until they found Blaine, a big goofy smile on his face, and Kurt stopped dead in his tracks.

Blaine was standing with Mike, Tina, and Artie…all four of them laughing as Tina punched Blaine lightly on the shoulder.

Kurt started at his boyfriend as Blaine laughed and rubbed his arm good-naturedly. Kurt reached out to hold onto the locker next to him and took a few deep breaths.

He couldn't do it. He couldn't be the one to wipe that smile off the face of the man he loved. It had been so long since Kurt had seen Blaine smile so wholeheartedly. Winning Nationals had given Blaine the "how awesome are we!" proud smile…and the smile he gave Kurt earlier that day from the audience during graduation, had been genuine and full of love and pride.

But this, this was the smile Kurt had fallen in love with from the moment he had seen it. That pure, carefree, goofball, "aren't I the cutest thing in the world" smile. This smile was the reason Kurt…listened to horrible music…agreed to watch that vampire movie that caused him to have nightmares for two weeks…put up with Blaine's pirate themed jokes for almost a month before Kurt begged him to stop.

Just as Kurt had decided to back up and let Blaine be happy for a while longer, Blaine, laughing still, caught his eye and waved.

God Kurt wanted to smile back at him; he wanted reassure Blaine everything was fine so badly his heart actually hurt a little…but he just couldn't do it.

XXXX

"Face it Anderson," Tina began, playfully punching Blaine on the shoulder. "Next year, our Friday nights are going to be you and me. We will be pigging out on ice cream and watching sappy Rom-Com's on my couch, bawling so hard over our boyfriends that we need IV fluids to rehydrate."

Blaine laughed but countered with, "No way Tina. Next year, you, Artie, and I are going to rule the Glee club. We will be too busy winning another National Trophy to even think about our knuckle-headed boyfriends!"

Mike gave Tina a pouty look as Artie raised his eyebrow at Blaine and said.

"Okay Blaine, whatever you have to tell yourself to get through the day." Blaine threw his head back and laughed as Artie continued with, "Save me some ice-cream. I'll be there to pick up the muddled pieces of the two of you."

Blaine winked at Artie as he looked up and caught a glimpse of Kurt at the end of the hall. Blaine flashed his best smile to the man he loved and lifted his hand to wave.

The past few moths had been harder than Blaine ever could have imagined. Knowing Kurt was leaving and would be hundreds of miles away had hurt like a knife constantly being pushed further and further into his chest.

It was the small things he knew he would miss more than anything. The way their hands looked with their fingers intertwined. The impromptu naps they shared on lazy Sunday afternoons. Curled up on Kurt's family room couch, laughing at each other when they were both supposed to studying. The way Kurt would lay his hand gently on the inside of his thigh when Blaine was driving. The big stuff was easier to remember and hold onto…it was the small everyday things that he took for granted, the small things he knew he would miss the most when they were gone.

In his heart, Blaine knew they would be okay. He never thought he would be the person who found the love of his life at seventeen, but here they were. He couldn't imagine his life without Kurt in it, and he would do anything to keep what they had. Including long-distance for a year until they could be together again. He knew there would be people who doubted them, who didn't believe their love could conquer all. But Blaine found a comfort in others disbelief in them, they could and would prove all of them wrong…and they would do it together.

Looking down the hall, Blaine knew something wasn't right. Kurt didn't return his wave. In fact, as he leaned against the wall, he looked like he was having trouble standing upright.

Horrible thoughts started running through his head as Blaine pushed through the crowd. The closer to his boyfriend he became, the more nervous he felt. Kurt's face was pale…well paler than usual. His eyes were wide and looked almost scared. He looked like he was standing by sheer will.

"Kurt!" Blaine called breathlessly as he neared him. Annoyed, he pushed a girl he didn't recognize out of his way without saying "excuse me" like his mother had always taught him to do.

Kurt dropped his head and fell back against the locker he had been leaning on.

"Baby, what's wrong? What happened?" Blaine reached his boyfriend, grabbing him by the shoulders only to feel Kurt trembling. "Please Kurt, talk to me…tell me what's wrong."

Kurt didn't say anything; he hesitated then brought his eyes up to meet Blaine's, before holding out the crumpled paper in his hand.

Blaine looked down and in one instant knew what the paper was…NYADA. _But wait. _He thought as his head snapped up in confusion._ This isn't right, what is going on? Kurt should be excited and thrilled...NO! No way!_

As the realization dawned across Blaine's face, Kurt's breathing became labored and erratic. Kurt lowed his head back down as Blaine tightened his hold on Kurt's shoulders.

"Kurt, I'm so…I'm so sorry."

"I…I just…I can't" Kurt stumbled trying desperately to take deep breaths, but failing, causing him to make strangled choking sounds as his face became paler by the second.

"Okay, calm down. Kurt, you need to breathe okay?"

Blaine started to get scared. The more Kurt struggled to calm down, the more labored his breathing became. He could tell Kurt was on the brink of breaking down and Blaine had had enough experience in panic attacks to know what they looked like.

"Come on." Blaine pulled on Kurt's arm, leading him into an empty classroom. "In here and sit down.

Blaine pulled two chairs out from under a desk and pushed Kurt down into one. He pried the letter from Kurt's hand and laid the crumpled piece of paper on the desk before positioning both chairs to face each other.

As he sat down, he pulled down on the back of Kurt's neck,

"Head between your legs and breath, okay?" he said softly.

Kurt obeyed, grabbing Blaine's knee and holding on as tight as he could. Blaine took one of Kurt's hands in his, and ran his other hand up and down Kurt's spine and gently squeezed his neck while talking softly to him.

"Just breathe baby, in and out." Miming the breathing patterns he wanted Kurt to follow. "Don't think about anything else, just my voice and your breathing."

After a few scary moments, Blaine looked up to see Tina standing in the doorway. She looked from Kurt, to the paper lying on the table, and finally back to Blaine.

Blaine shook his head slightly as he continued rubbing Kurt's back and neck. Tina closed her eyes and sighed before softly pulling the door shut to give her friends a little privacy.

The boys sat together until Kurt's breathing started to even out and his grip on Blaine's knee and hand lessened. Slowly, Kurt began to straighten his back and sit up. Blaine ran his hand over Kurt's neck, shoulder and arm, squeezing gently as Kurt's eyes meet his own.

"There he is." Blaine said softly. "There's the man I love." He cupped Kurt's face and smiled slightly as Kurt huffed in response.

Blaine took Kurt's other hand and intertwined their fingers, waiting for Kurt to say something.

"I didn't get in."

"Kurt," Blaine began but Kurt interrupted him.

"Finn didn't either…but Rachel." Kurt paused and bit his lip. He kept waiting for the waterfall of tears to escape from his eyes…but nothing was coming. He looked back at Blaine and finally said the words out loud.

"Rachel did. Rachel got in."

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A/N: I know right. More to come, soon I hope:)


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer-I do not own Glee...but if you see a Genie let me know:)

**You are my Lighthouse**

by-andthenIfound5dollars

warning-Spoilers and background scenes from "Goodbye"-warning

A/N: I had a lot of trouble with this chapter…my muse was really going for later parts of this story and really silent on how, and what I wanted to convey here. I am posting it mainly because I want to continue on. So if it seems choppy or disjointed, I apologize and may come back to it again later. Let me know what you think:) Again, thank you all so much for all the feedback on this story; it really is so awesome to hear what you guys think!

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Tina's heart was broken, her tears slipping down her face as she walked back to where she had left Mike and Artie.

"Hey, what happened?" Mike asked softly winding his arm around his girlfriend's waist. "What's wrong?"

Tina wiped her eyes and shook her head. "Kurt got his letter, he didn't get in."

"Oh man." Artie breathed rubbing his head.

"I just don't understand." Tina squeaked into Mike's shoulder. "I was there; I watched that amazing performance…I heard what she said to him. He deserved this." She looked to Mike for an explanation, but he just shrugged as he held her a little tighter and Artie shook his head.

"Hey guys, what's going on?" Mercedes asked as she and Sam walked up hand in hand.

"Kurt got his letter," Artie explained, "He didn't get in."

Mercedes face fell as she groaned and laid her head on Sam's shoulder. "Where is he, is he okay?"

Tina lifted her head, "He's with Blaine." She paused and sniffled "Would you be okay?"

Mercedes shook her head sadly as Sam frowned and spoke up.

"Wait, I'm confused…I saw Finn a little while ago, he said Rachel was accepted. I assumed they both were."

Nobody spoke for a few minutes, all four of them staring at Sam.

"Wait a damn minute." Mercedes finally interjected and Sam jumped back. "Are you telling me, Finn said Rachel got in, and Kurt didn't?"

"Well…yeah…I mean that's what he said, so." Sam stuttered, shifting his eyes. He was still a little afraid of Diva Mercedes.

"I can't believe this!" she almost yelled it, shaking her head as Sam began patting her back awkwardly.

"Okay baby, I think you should ca…"

"This is total crap!" Mercedes interrupted him shrugging off his hand. "I mean come on. Tina, you were there, you saw how amazing he was. He did things with his hips and legs I could never do…and sounded amazing while doing it."

Tina nodded her head, but didn't say anything as Mercedes continued.

"And Rachel blew it! She blew it and we all know it!" Mercedes was really pissed now. "Why does she get the chance to prove herself, when Kurt already has? It's complete and utter bullshit!"

"Mercedes…" Tina began but Mercedes wouldn't be stopped.

"This is exactly why I got so upset this year, apparently this is all just 'The Rachel Berry Show' and what we want and what we work hard for doesn't matter!"

"We? I thought we were talking about Kurt?" Tina interjected getting upset. "I agree that Kurt deserved to get in, but that doesn't make Rachel's accomplishment any less valid or important. We all know how talented Rachel is and she deserved this just as much as he did."

"NO! That is not supposed to be how the world works. You aren't supposed to be able to walk all over your friends, blow your shot, and still get everything you want. Just because you started drinking the Rachel Berry Kool-Aid Tina, doesn't mean the rest of us have to."

Mercedes threw up her hands in disgust and Tina looked like Mercedes had slapped her across the face.

"The harsh fact is, Kurt deserved this and he didn't get it. He worked his ass off, took a huge risk, and was amazing." Mercedes pulled on Sam's arm as she made to walk away. "And like always, he is left picking up the pieces of the tornado that is Rachel Berry. This has the potential to break our friends apart, and if that happens, I'm on Team Kurt, the end."

Sam looked back at his friends apologetically, but allowed himself to be pulled away by a very pissed off Mercedes.

Mike pulled Tina into a hug as the three of them watched their friends walk away.

"The thing is," Artie finally broke the silence. "I can't even be upset with her."

"Mercedes?" Mike asked.

Artie just nodded. He put a comforting hand on Tina, and then rolled away.

XXXX

Kurt stared out the window of his Navigator from the passenger seat. He could feel Blaine sneaking looks at him as he drove the familiar track to the Hummel-Hudson house.

Kurt felt the pressure of Blaine's hand in his. He closed his eyes as he reveled in the familiarity of the way their hands and fingers fit together. Letting it go for only a moment as he unlocked and opened the car door, Blaine hadn't really been able to let go of Kurt's hand. Kurt was glad, after that ordeal…he needed something solid to feel anchored to.

It was quite possibly the scariest feeling in the world, his panic attack. It had felt like his body had been taken over and his windpipe was being slowly squeezed shut. The room around him swaying in a way he had never experience before. Vertigo taking over his brain as pure terror had washed over his body. He fought for every breath, feeling more and more ridiculous for having such a reaction to a rejection letter.

Kurt was used to rejection. He could take anything the world chose to throw at him, and he could take it with grace and humility with just a few jabs thrown in for good measure.

But this was different. This was the first time he had actually allowed himself to hope for something he wanted. The first time he had begun to get excited, plan, prepare. He had lengthy discussions with his boyfriend about how to deal with this separation; he triaged his room for what he wanted to take and what he wanted to leave. He had planned out every moment of the next year of his life, and had actually allowed himself get excited for it.

And now, it was all gone.

It didn't matter that he had a stack of acceptance packets lying on his desk at home from other schools. Schools he hadn't wanted to apply to (but Ms. Pillsbury had been insistent) because they weren't NYADA. It didn't matter, because he wanted NYADA. He wanted NYADA and he didn't get in. Rachel did, and that was that. She would realize her dream, see it come true…and he would stay here.

Kurt opened his eyes, a thought coming to him.

"Shit."

"What, what's wrong?" Blaine glanced over at him concerned. It was the first time Kurt had spoken since they had gotten in the car.

"All my stuff." Kurt answered quietly. "My locker, all my crap is still in my locker. I was going to clean it out when I got the text from…when I got the text." He rubbed his eyes in annoyance. "I had completely forgotten until now."

"Don't worry about it." Blaine assured squeezing his hand a little. "I'll get it tomorrow. I still have one more day of class."

"Thank you." Kurt said quietly. "For…just, thank you."

Blaine didn't say anything, but pulled their tangled hands up to kiss Kurt's knuckles, his eyes not leaving the road as they pulled into Kurt's driveway. He turned the car off and pulled the key from the ignition.

Kurt took a deep breath looking at his dad's car parked in the driveway. Blaine seemed to read his thoughts as he squeezed his hand again and said,

"I can tell him, if you want me too."

Kurt turned his head to his boyfriend and smiled slightly at the warmth he found in Blaine's hazel eyes. Tempted for a moment at the prospect of falling into his bed without seeing the disappointment his dad would try his best to hide…he knew he couldn't chicken out. His dad deserved more than that from him.

"No, I need to do it." Kurt said shaking his head. Blaine nodded as Kurt looked down and added. "Could you just…could you come with me?"

Blaine used his free hand to cover their intertwined fingers and looked Kurt in the face.

"Of course." His voice so full of love and comfort, Kurt had to look up. "Of course." He reiterated just to make sure Kurt understood, he would always be there for him. Kurt swallowed before nodding his thanks.

Kurt reluctantly let go of Blaine's hand and opened his door. He stared up at his home as he slung his bag over his shoulder. He felt Blaine's hand rest on the small of his back, leading him up the walk and thorough the front door.

"Dad?" Kurt called from the alcove, dropping his bag and keys on the hutch as Blaine pushed the door shut behind them.

"In here Kurt!" Burt called from the kitchen. Blaine rubbed Kurt's upper arms as he followed him. Burt was sitting at the kitchen table, on his cell in front of his laptop.

"Nope, today." He said into his phone. "I won't be out there until next Monday so I need you to do it today."

Burt looked up with a smile and a wink to his son and his son's boyfriend, who had managed to turn into a part of his family in no time at all.

"I gotta go Jamie, my son just got home." Burt said into his phone, frowning when he took in Kurt and Blaine's faces.

"What's up guys?" Burt asked setting his phone down and standing up. Kurt began shaking his head and finally met his dad's eyes.

"My letter came today." He paused as a sob threatened to escape from his chest. "I didn't…dad I didn't get it."

Burt didn't say anything for a few moments; he stared at Kurt like he didn't quite understand the words his son had just said. Kurt shook his head sadly as Burt's face fell and pulled his boy into a big hug.

"I'm so sorry bud, I know how much you wanted this." Burt murmured into Kurt's hair. Kurt didn't say anything, just led his dad hold him tight to his chest.

Blaine stood in the doorway; watching and waiting…he quickly swept his fingers under his eye and was glad Kurt couldn't see.

Burt looked over Kurt's shoulder to where Blaine was standing. The two men Kurt loved most in this world shared a look ending with Blaine giving his head a small, but strong nod.

Burt closed his eyes and held Kurt a little tighter for a moment before letting go but kept his hands strong on Kurt's shoulders.

"Are you…well I know you're not 'Okay' but…" Burt stopped, not sure how to finish his sentence. He knew Kurt wasn't okay and probably wouldn't be for a while and this was no time to talk about what his other plans were.

"I'm just really tired dad, I think I'm gonna go upstairs and lay down for a while."

Burt nodded as Kurt turned and held his hand out for Blaine to take.

The boys headed up the stairs and into Kurt's bedroom. Blaine pushed the door to almost closed and turned around. Kurt had already taken off his shoes, and was working on his tie and vest. Blaine toed off his boat shoes and pulled his phone and wallet out of his pocket and laid it on Kurt's dresser as Kurt crawled up on the bed and stretched out on top of the still made comforter facing the wall.

Blaine climbed up and scooted his body until he was as close to Kurt as possible. He reached down for the brown fuzzy blanket folded at the end of the bed. He pulled the blanket up, covering both Kurt and himself.

Kurt let out a ragged breath as Blaine wrapped his arm up and around Kurt's torso and gently kissed his neck, slipping his leg in-between Kurt's legs.

"Kurt, just let go." Blaine whispered against Kurt's neck. "I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere."

Kurt was quiet for a few moments, finally reaching his hand up and covering his eyes as the tears started leaking out.

"I wanted it so badly, Blaine." A sob that shook his entire body finally escaped and Blaine just held him tighter. "I...I just..."

"I know."

They didn't say anything else. Blaine held his crying boyfriend until he was asleep, his own tears slipping quietly over his face, occasionally kissing Kurt's neck and breathing the scent of his shampoo.

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A/N: Reviews and Feedback are like Red Velvet Cupcakes for my soul.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer-Glee is owned, not by me...but by...well...I'm just gonna stick with, not by me.

**You are my Lighthouse**

by-andthenIfound5dollars

warning-Spoilers and background scenes from "Goodbye"-warning

A/N: YAY! New chapter, *does the new chapter dance in seat*.

* * *

Blaine said a silent prayer to himself as he pulled Kurt's door shut, spying Burt on his way downstairs.

"Burt," he called softly "Has Sam left for school yet?"

"Nah dude, I'm right here." Sam answered coming up behind Blaine from his bedroom. Blaine and Burt both turned to look at him as he pulled on his backpack.

"Oh thank god." Blaine sighed in relief. "Can I catch a ride with you to school? I left my car there yesterday afternoon." Blaine asked as Sam nodded.

"Yeah of course." But Burt supplied another alternative.

"Blaine, I can take you and run you by your house so you can change." He offered as the three men walked downstairs together.

"Oh thank you, Burt…but I'll just catch a ride with Sam. I have a change of clothes in my car and an exam first hour I can't be late for."

"Okay, are you sure? I really don't mind." Blaine smiled but nodded that he was sure as they reached the kitchen. Carole was filling and passing out to-go coffee cups and smiling warmly.

"Morning boys! There are granola bars on the counter. Sam, I'm sorry honey but Finn ate the last yogurt on his way out early this morning."

"Oh that's okay Carole, a granola bar is fine." Sam answered gratefully, grabbing two and handing one to Blaine.

"Finn left early this morning?" Burt asked his wife, disbelief evident in his tone.

"Yeah, I know. He was out late with Rachel last night too."

At the mention of her name, Blaine's stomach dropped and his appetite vanished. He kept chewing to be polite, but the granola felt like gravel in his mouth as Kurt's parents continued their conversation of Finn's apparent sneaky behavior.

"Come on Blaine, if we leave early you should have time to change and stuff before class."

Blaine nodded to Sam and thanked Carole for breakfast.

"Your welcome sweetie, anytime." Carole picked up her bag and she and Burt followed Sam and Blaine through the living room and toward the front door.

"I don't get a kiss goodbye?" Kurt called softly walking down the stairs causing everyone to turn from the door.

Without missing a beat,

"Oh of course, Kurty!" Sam called as he made to rush up the stairs. "Cm'ere muffin!"

He earned a collective laugh from Blaine and Carole, a grab of his backpack from Burt, and a judgmental eye-roll with a small smile from Kurt. Burt pushed Sam out the front door with Carole following closely behind as Blaine walked up to meet Kurt on the stairs.

"Hi." He said before meeting his lips softly with Kurt's. "I didn't want to wake you, I know you didn't get much sleep." Kurt nodded as he wrapped his arms around Blaine and buried his face into his neck.

"Are you gonna be okay today?" Blaine asked squeezing Kurt a little tighter. Kurt chuckled into his neck before pulling out of the hug and nodding.

"Yeah, I think I'll spend the day at the garage with dad…do some mindless work for a while. I don't want to sit at home all day."

Blaine nodded resting his hands on Kurt's waist.

"Okay, I'll call you when I leave the school?" Kurt nodded as Blaine leaned in for another kiss, wishing he could do more to get the sadness out of Kurt's eyes. "I love you." he whispered softly against Kurt's lips.

"I love you too, have a good day."

Blaine pressed one more kiss to Kurt's lips before walking down the stairs and out the door.

Sam was hanging up his phone when Blaine climbed into his truck.

"Last day of Junior year, Seniors Baby!" Sam cried as he reversed out the driveway. Blaine smiled politely but his mind was still inside as he watched Burt walk back through the front door.

Sam seemed to realize Blaine didn't really want to talk much, and definitely not about Kurt. The two friends made small talk about summer plans until they pulled into the parking lot.

Blaine had just enough time to grab a very fast shower in the locker room, gel his hair and race to his AP history exam. He slipped into his seat next to Artie just as the bell rang.

"I was getting worried." He whispered as the exams were being passed back. Blaine smiled and shrugged what he hoped was reassuringly. It seemed to work as Artie smiled and turned to his test. Blaine took a deep breath and forced his brain to remember what he had studied on the French Revolution.

XXXX

His dad came through the front door a few moments after Blaine had walked out of it.

"Dad, if you give me like twenty minutes to shower and change, I'll come with you to the shop for the day." Kurt said his hand on the banister.

"Yeah bud, that would be great." Burt answered as Kurt nodded and walked back up the stairs.

Walking in his bedroom, he sighed in the general direction of his bed.

"What I wouldn't give to curl up and sleep for the next year." Kurt said softly to himself. Instead, he made the bed only allowing himself to stop for a moment to give Blaine's pillow a gentle smell, before placing it carefully next to his other pillows.

Twenty minutes later, he was sipping a cup of coffee in the passenger seat of his dad's truck.

"Dad, thank you for letting Blaine stay over last night." Kurt said fiddling with the lid of his cup. "I just, really needed him."

Burt took a deep breath before continuing.

"Kurt, you aren't a kid anymore. You're out of high school and eighteen, I know you and Blaine respect each other and our home…as long as it is okay with his parents, I don't have a problem with him staying over."

Kurt didn't say anything for a few moments, wiping a tear from his eye, he finally squeaked out a "Thanks Dad." They didn't talk much more the rest of the drive.

Kurt spent the morning in the office, entering deliveries and purchase orders into inventory and reorganizing files in the system. Burt ordered sandwiches and salads for lunch, but they spent their time eating not talking.

After lunch, Kurt pulled on his coveralls and gloves and helped his dad with a few alignments…it was the first thing Kurt ever learned to do (because he could keep his gloves on the whole time), so he was pretty good at them.

Kurt had just finished up around 2:30 when his dad came over to where he was entering the info on the computer.

"Hey Kurt, go get cleaned up and change, Carole just called and Finn wants to talk to all three of us at home."

XXXX

Blaine stood beside Kurt's locker fighting tears. He gently pulled the photo collages and posters from the door, carefully placing them in an empty folder. Smiling slightly, he grabbed Kurt's emergency hair/face care bag and can of hairspray. He brought the nozzle to his nose to breath in the scent; it wasn't the same but still smelled good…comforting almost.

He had borrowed an empty box from Ms. Pillsbury to transport his and Kurt's things. He put Kurt's notebooks and binders in his bag, but the rest of his stuff was laid carefully in the box along with his own.

Just as Blaine was finishing up, he felt someone walk up behind him. He turned and gave Tina a small smile.

"Need a hand?"

Blaine was about to refuse, say he could get it…but along with the box, were both of their gym bags, and his backpack. He supposed he could use the help and nodded.

Tina took the gym bags and Blaine the box. They walked in silence for a few moments before Tina finally spoke up.

"I know it's probably a stupid question, but how is he?"

"It's not a stupid question, it's nice that your concerned…but honestly, I'm not sure, how he's doing that is." Blaine said sighing. "He barely slept last night…" he stopped, not wanting to share too much.

Like how Kurt had woken up in a cold sweat and calling for his mom, how it had taken Blaine almost an hour to calm him back down and even then he didn't fall back to sleep. How angry Kurt had gotten at himself for falling apart in front of Blaine…for falling apart in general. How he had locked himself in the bathroom for over an hour, but was obviously relived when he found Blaine still sitting on the floor when he finally came out. How he had dropped to the floor, his head in Blaine's lap, hand covering his eyes as he cried.

Blaine had just let his boyfriend cry in his lap, rubbing his back and murmuring what he hoped was comforting words. He didn't know what else to do, and all he wanted to do, was make Kurt feel better.

By the time the two friends reached the car, Blaine was almost in tears. He opened the hatchback and dispensed the box, taking the bags from Tina as well. He looked at his friend and sighed again, sitting on the edge of his trunk. Tina sat down next to him and put her arm on his shoulder.

"I just, I don't know what to do…what to say." Blaine confessed a tear leaking from his eye.

"I don't think there is anything you can say…or do. Just be there for him." She paused to pull a tissue from her bag and handed to him. "I've known Kurt for a long time, he internalizes everything. Keeps things to himself and doesn't let people in very easily. I think that's why it took us so long, last year, to realize something was going on with him…that's not an excuse, because we were there and we should have known…I should have known." She paused again, lost in thought for a moment before shaking her head and continuing.

"But this year, he…I don't know, he is just different. He smiles more, laughs more, I mean come on, he's best friends with Rachel Berry, that's like, mind-blowing for most people." Blaine chuckled slightly but didn't say anything.

"You know that has so much to do with you right?" Tina dropped her head to try to get Blaine to look her in the eye. "He found someone to be open with, to be honest to, someone who knows him, who he is, flaws and all. Someone he loves, who loves him back."

Blaine looked up, he eyes welling with tears.

"I feel so guilty." He finally squeezed out in a tiny voice.

"Blaine, you wishing he wasn't leaving, or being sad that he is, is NOT the same as wishing for him not to get accepted to NYADA. Don't put that on yourself, it's not fair and it's not true." She paused. "Be there for Kurt because you love him, not because you feel like you did something wrong…because you didn't."

"Tina, he has had such a horrible year. I feel like at every turn, the world is kicking him in the shins, the presidency, the musical, and now this. He deserved all those things, but he earned this." Blaine was really crying now. "I just, what if he...what if he can't get past this? What if this is what breaks him?"

"What if pigs suddenly sprout wings and start flying? What if we wake up tomorrow, and up is down and left is green? You can't play the 'what if' game, Blaine. You will be playing it all day long. This sucks, and Kurt is hurting, but he never ceases to amaze all of us…I'm not saying he will be fine, but he has you and his family, and his friends, he will get through this."

Blaine nodded, but didn't say anything. Blaine wiped his eyes as the two sat quietly for a few moments until Tina broke the silence.

"Mercedes blames Rachel, for him not getting in I mean. She blames Rachel."

"I think if I can't blame myself, we can't start blaming Rachel." Blaine said as his phone buzzed with a text message. "She wasn't on the admissions board any more than I was."

"I know, but sometimes we just want to blame someone. Otherwise we have to accept the fact, that the world just sucks sometimes." Tina noticed the concerned look on Blaine's face. "Kurt?" she asked and motioned to his phone.

"Yeah, I gotta go." They stood up and Blaine shut the trunk lid, clearly still distracted from the text message. "Thanks Tina, I'll text you okay?"

"Yeah, of course. Is everything okay?" she asked as Blaine climbed into the car.

"I don't know, I hope so." He said giving her what he hoped was a comforting smile, but really came across pained.

He pulled his door shut as Tina waved and walked away. Blaine reread the text from Kurt.

_From Kurt-_

_3:28pm_

_Are you still coming over here/are you almost on your way? _

Blaine quickly typed back,

_To Kurt-_

_3:29 pm_

_Yes to both, on my way now. Is everything okay?_

He started his car and headed out of the parking lot, but waited until he was stopped at the light before reading the reply and texting back.

_From Kurt-_

_3:30 pm_

_No. I need to get out of here, need to be with you. Need to not be here. _

_To Kurt-_

_3:33 pm _

_I'll be there as soon as I can. I love you. _

Blaine was already parked in Kurt's driveway when his phone finally buzzed with Kurt's _"I love you" _back.

He had barley rapped his knuckles against the door when it swung open. Kurt stood there looking pissed.

"What's wrong?" Blaine asked breathlessly.

Kurt didn't say anything, just motioned for Blaine to come in.

Blaine furrowed his brow, but followed his boyfriend through the small foyer and into the living room. He stopped dead in his tracks.

You could cut the tension in the room with a knife, and a very dull knife at that. Finn was standing near the fireplace, his arms crossed across his chest in defiance. Carole was sitting in the chair, quietly crying, while Burt paced next to her.

Blaine, suddenly very uncomfortable, looked around as Kurt began talking.

"I'm leaving with Blaine." He told his dad. "Don't wait up okay?"

Burt gave his son a long look, before finally nodding.

"Kurt." Finn said quietly, but Kurt pointedly ignored his step-brother. He grabbed his bag and keys.

"Kurt!" Finn exclaimed a little louder trying to get his attention. Kurt motioned for Blaine to follow him, still ignoring Finn. Blaine looked back at Finn quizzically and tried to give him a comforting look, but Finn wasn't paying attention to Blaine.

"KURT! She is talking about deferring! Is that really what you want for her?" Finn was yelling now. Kurt whipped around, his face pale and his lip quivering…all indications that he was very close to breaking down.

"FINN STOP! You have to do what you feel like you have to do! But I am DONE talking about this now! DROP IT!"

Blaine was staring at both of them with his mouth hanging open. He had no idea what was going on, but the protective boyfriend in him, wanted to pounce on Finn, he just had to figure out why first.

Unfortunately, he didn't get the chance. Kurt wasn't kidding when he said he was done. He was out the door before Blaine had realized he'd left the room.

Blaine looked around, trying to figure out something to say…in the end giving up and shrugging. He hurried out the door and meet up with Kurt standing by his car. Blaine unlocked and opened his door for him then jogged around to climb in the car as well.

"Where to?" he asked and Kurt shrugged.

"Anywhere but here…your house?"

Blaine nodded as he started the car and reversed out of the driveway. Kurt only made it to the end of the street before the wracking sobs took over.

Blaine pulled over, turned off the car and pulled his boyfriend into his arms. He gently kissed Kurt's neck, wishing that he could kick the person responsible for Kurt, the man he loved more than anyone else in this world, never being able to catch a freaking break.

* * *

A/N: Thank you so much for reading! more to come, soon!


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